Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Not Always Rosy, Turning It Around.

As many people know, my car got stolen last Thursday from the school parking lot ironically while getting a pep speech in the auditorium from the Superintendent of JPS.

Now, I won't go into the transaction of events, because in reality it doesn't matter how it happened just that it happened.

The hardest part was keeping calm in front of the students. Maintaining composure as I realize, hmmm, my car isn't parked where I thought I parked it... maybe the students weren't kidding... my car really is stolen.

The day that the events transpired, I was fine. I was the happy Mr. Wright that everyone knows. My students in my third period were actually confused by how happy I seemed despite the circumstances.

I'd like to say the rosy picture continues, joking about the student not stealing my lunch or leaving me an 18 track rap CD to listen to in my car... but it's been hard... fo'realz.

The tipping point of anger, frustration and sadness came when I had to go to the detention center where the student is detained and press charges.

Most teachers and administrators told me to "Hell yes, press those charges. Teach all the students a lesson that they can not do that." And in reality, the boy broke the law and should be given a punishment.

The reason the frustration set in was because it takes a lot of emotions out when you feel violated. To have someone steal your phone, laptop and car just to sell the former and leave the latter behind a gas station in the middle of nowhere.

What bothers me most is the frustation that is transpiring into my teaching. Yes, I'm angry but for some reason my students are getting the brunt. Understandably, they shouldn't press my buttons right now, but I used to happily help a student when they needed help. The last two days, I don't care to help... it's an attitude of "what don't you understand, I taught you and you should have learned."

I know this isn't the right attitude and nobody can convince me that it's okay. I can be bitter, but my innocent students should not receive the negativity of my situation.

Luckily, I have some students that have tried to correct my attitude... "Mr. Wright, you need your own negativity jar, because you're making us lose our positivity points." My students realize that I am angry, which isn't good, but they're also trying to help me make it through. Our system of focusing on positivity has helped my students put me back on track.

I'm far from the right track. I'm far from where I normally would be. I have no desire to laugh, I have no desire to talk to people. But I know that as my students help me move forward and as I see the changes that need to be made in my own attitude, things will get better.

I hope that tomorrow will be a better day in my attitude so that my students can continue to succeed. They have worked too hard for me to tell them to give up. They now want to learn. To squash their desire would perhaps ruin it for the rest of their lives... I don't want to be blamed for that.

You were probably expecting some rosy picture as I always paint, but this week is not where I want it to be. There hasn't been much to paint a rosy picture of except my students pushing me to have a better attitude. Thank God I have taught my students something, that a positive attitude matters more than anything else.

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